My life as of late...

- lay in bed
- meds
- NOT get comfortable
- meds
- have KMFT take me to the bathroom
- meds
- cry in frustration from not being able to get comfortable
- meds
- be forced to get up and walk because "It'll help in the long run."
- meds
- more being uncomfortable

Going from being a completely independent woman to having to rely on KMFT to do everything for me is a huge change emotionally, as well as physically. EVERYTHING. I can't even get out of bed without her help muscles.

Every motion I make is supposed to be fluid, yet my spine must stay aligned at the same time. The tiniest bit of give makes me feel like my entire body is being crushed. I really hope this fixes my pain, because this is ridiculous.

Not to mention I got discharged from the hospital on the 3rd day. Everyone else I've stalked on YouTube got to stay for 5. What kind of crap is that? My insurance pre-approved 5 days. You don't want their money, hospital? I barely remember being in the hospital, so it's not like I was just doing so awesome and being so alert they just knew I would be fine at home...

There are no awesome, convenient handles on the beds here. There are no nifty buttons that make my bed sit up when I want it to. If I want to be on a slope, as with the hospital bed (and the only thing that feels good to me), KMFT must build it with pillows.

KMFT is the only thing/person that I don't have a complaint about. (Trust me, I could go on for days with mass amounts of profanity...) She and her parents have been absolutely perfect angels to me and she is the reason (previous to the surgery and I'm sure for a long time coming) that I don't mind waking up in the morning.

Hey guess what?

I'm alive. Alive but in a lottttt of pain. And still in the hospital for a few more days with the slave driver Physical Therapists who love to make me walk around with a walker when it hurts like shit to even sit up.

Surgery: Oh noez!

In only a few short days, I'm having my spinal fusion done on levels L4 through S1. My back will have screws, rods, & cages. BIONIC WOMA... Um, nevermind. Move along.

I won't be posting much, unless I can persuade KMFT to do some updates on my surgery & recovery status. All I have to do is smile reallllllly sweet & say please. And then teach her how to post. You know, not much time at all.

I'm terrified & I have no idea how to feel about this whole thing. I don't know how long the recovery time is & I have no idea if I'll even be okay for the wedding.Who knows?

See you on the flipside!

Cooking: Are those mashed potatoes? Absolutely not.

Mashed potatoes?



Nope, guess again...

My cooking: How to make perfect hard boiled eggs.

All you need to make perfect hard boiled eggs (besides eggs, a pot, and water on a stove) is...

The worst pain I've ever felt.

I got to feel it today in the form of a Satangram Discogram. This is essentially what happened to my spine today: (And yes, those are needles!)